Post by bryancox on Jun 22, 2012 15:09:33 GMT -5
s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i
just keep chasing pavements even though it
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| [atrb=width,240] "No biggie, I'll just hit the gym." She smacked her lips glamorously at her best friend and turned for the door. Hannah sauntered coolly out of the restaurant, but once she got to the parking lot, she broke into a run. She climbed inside her Toyota Prius - a car her mom had bought for herself last year but had recently handed off to Hannah because she'd grown tired of it - and checked her face in the rear view mirror. There were hideous bright red patches on her cheeks and forehead. After her transformation, Hannah had been neurotically careful about not only looking cool and perfect at all times, but being cool and perfect, too. Terrified that the tiniest mistake would send her spiraling back to the old Hannah, she labored over every last detail, from little things like the perfect I'M screen name and the right mix for her car, to bigger stuff like the combination of people she decided to party with and choosing the parting it boy to date. Had lying to everyone tarnish the perfect, controlled, cool Hannah that everyone had come to know and like? Hannah's field of vision went blurry. She squeezed the steering wheel for a few seconds, then jammed the key into the ignition and rolled out of the country club parking lot to a gravelly, dead-end turn-off a few yards down the road. She could hear her heart pounding at her temples as she turned off the engine and took deep breaths. The wind smelled like hay and just mown grass. Hannah shut her eyes tight. When she opened them, she stared at the container of sweet potato fries she had ordered with Camden. Don't, she thought as a car swished by one the road. Hannah wiped her hands on her jeans. She snuck another peek at the fries. They smelled delicious. Don't, don't, don't. She reached over for them and opened the lid, the sweet warm smell wafted throughout the car. Before she could stop herself, Hannah shoved handful after handful of fries into her mouth, not taking the least bit of time to fully chew her food. It was such a relief; this was the only thing that had made her feel better. At first she felt much, much calmer. But by the time she pulled into the gym's parking lot, the old, familiar feeling of panic and shame had welled up insider her. Hannah was amazed how, even though it had been years since she'd done this, everything felt exactly the same. Her stomach ached, her pants felt tight, and all she wanted was to be rid of what was insider of her. Ignoring the gym employee who wanted her to check in, Hannah bolted to the women's locker room and found the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and collapsed onto the tiled floor. Thank God no one was in the locker room, or so she thought. At least no one would hear what Hannah was about to do. | [atrb=width,100] words , 546 words tagged , open notes , none |
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