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Post by derrick ROMANOV on Jul 26, 2012 0:49:16 GMT -5
 IT'S SO LOUD INSIDE MY HEADwith words that I should've said ?!- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - January 17th;
Dear shitty diary;
Diary? The hell with that, I might just call it....dear shitty box of useless
thoughts. Yeah, I will rename you as such for you do not seem use full to me
I suppose I can keep this up to make mom and dad happy, but there are no
thoughts inside my head that would cause them to be happy. Hate, revenge,
loathing, sadness, sorrow. Those are merely a few of my feelings, although
feelings seem rather stupid to me right now. Anyway dear shitty box of
useless thoughts. I shall leave you for now. I have nothing else to say, nor I
can push myself to even try to come up with something.
-sincerely, derrick. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/color] did. mmkay? <3[/color][/size][/center] |
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Post by derrick ROMANOV on Jul 26, 2012 0:52:00 GMT -5
IT'S SO LOUD INSIDE MY HEADwith words that I should've said ?! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - June 07th;
Dear shitty box of useless thoughts;
I can't stress enough how devilishly frustrating it is for people to feel pity on me. If you see me down the street don't come up to me with sad eyes, a warm and comforting hug and words of courage. If I want to feel like shit I have every right to do so and I do not appreciate others talking as if they knew how I feel. I still wake up at night sometimes, body covered in sweat, heart beating fast, hyperventilating and feeling this sort of oppression to my chest along with the pain of the now healed wounds. Is it right? Is it right to feel like this after so long? It's probably not been that long, but every time I feel myself starting to put the pieces back together, they fall and crack even more. One piece turning into three, then those three into nine and so on. I glue some to see others fall; nothing seems to actually hold them together. Am I finally broken? are the images or the actions that happened after wards what's causing this rupture in my mind? I wish I knew...
-sincerely, derrick. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/color] did. mmkay? <3[/color][/size][/center][/quote] |
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Post by derrick ROMANOV on Aug 15, 2012 23:55:45 GMT -5
IT'S SO LOUD INSIDE MY HEADwith words that I should've said ?! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Some random day;
Dear shitty box of useless thoughts;
So.....I kissed someone yesterday. Well actualy someone kissed me, which lead to me kissing her back....which I am not sure if I need to ignore or....think about it. I should probably ignore it, right? It seems logic. She is my student....well...she will be my student. The student which I allowed to call me Der....crap. God I am such an idiot. I liked it though...but still, I ran away like the idiot that I am. It was probably for the best...I just need to keep repeating myself that, right? right. Yeah...probably...
-sincerely, derrick. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/color] did. mmkay? <3[/color][/size][/center] |
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Post by derrick ROMANOV on Aug 15, 2012 23:57:57 GMT -5
IT'S SO LOUD INSIDE MY HEADwith words that I should've said ?! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Some random day;
Dear shitty box of useless thoughts;
Oh dear. How long has it been since I wrote here? I have no clue. Anyway. I just did something, and I don't know if it was good or bad. Usually I mess up relationships, so, quitting my job to go on a date might have been a little too much. What if I screw this one up as well? I certainly am hoping that I won't, this girl is amazing, despite the obvious reasons for it to be weird, I can't help but liking her. Everybody knows I am rather...impulsive, so this shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone. But even so, I don't know, I just really don't want to mess things up. I guess I'll check back once the date happens. Hopefully I'll have good news, if not it might be just gibber jabber of a drunk man. That actually might be more interesting than this...anyway, yeah she's great, I haven't been this...happy or interested in a girl in a while, I suppose that is a good sign. Specially because I like talking to her, a lot. And she's rather pretty....and cute. Yeah well I though so even before she kissed me...yeah she is that girl I wrote about on my last post...oh right, that was the last time I wrote here....anyway...I should go, I am nervous enough as it is for this date.
-sincerely, derrick. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/color] did. mmkay? <3[/color][/size][/center] |
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