NOTHING LEFT TO GUESS NOW// JILLI

[jason brody southurst]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,5px,true][atrb=style, background-color: #ededed; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; width: 390px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][classy=postysoy][classy=contento][style=letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom: 2px solid #ededed; font-size: 8px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3px;]{ WHEN I WAKE I DON'T FEEL AS BAD AS I SHOULD }[/style]The night that Jason was having, like all good ones, had been completely unplanned much like his new attitude to life. There had been a time when he had thought about a lot of things and planned them meticulously and when he looked back on it now it had all seemed rather stupid. He wasn't going to strap himself down to a desk for the rest of his life or go through four years of torturous work just to earn himself a seat at a desk, no, he was going to let loose and take each day as it came. Whatever the day brought he would tackle it head on and so far he had nothing to complain about. He had ended up at some dodgy bar near the College with a couple of his friends and a larger group of strangers who were more than happy to buy shot after shot. Jason had had more than his fair share of alcohol and his surroundings were starting to blur into one pulsating mesh of color and movement and noise. He'd stayed glued to a booth near the band playing on stage with a couple probably conceiving their first born to his right and an angry looking bald man to his left. Across the table sat his best friend and her roommate and they were surrounded by faces he had introduced himself to or been introduced to throughout the night but didn't bother to remember as he'd never meet them again after the sun rose. The bald man was shouting something over the top of him, presumably to the band, and no matter how frightening he appeared Jason felt himself scooch closer toward him in fear of the couple using him as their new surface to make love on. He felt his eyes become heavy as if weights had been tied to his eyelashes and he lent back and tried to pry them open with his fingers but stopped it quickly in fear he looked like he was imitating an owl. The bald man punched the table once, enough to leave a dent the size of his fist, and stormed away allowing Jason to spread out in the new space and lay in the warmth of someone else's body heat. The roof reflected the hundreds of shining lights from the glasses that were scattered on the tables and benches to the stage effects. Jason tried to follow them and trace them with his fingers but the whole thing made him want to puke so he closed his eyes and concentrated on the thumping of the bass and footsteps on the dance-floor. The tiredness seemed to take over and he wanted desperately to find a bed and collapse into it, he didn't care who's bed or what was in it, he just wanted to feel the comfort of a mattress beneath him and the warmth of a blanket over him. He sat up and motioned for Alice to come over. She looked like she could have kept dancing the rest of the night and there was no signs of slowing down in her bright wicked eyes. Her eyebrows were arched in amusement and she lent closer so he could speak into her ear and make sure he was heard. She smelt like cigarettes and red bull and it didn't help the nausea the lights had brought on. One of the boys that were standing near Alice gave him a dirty look, probably assuming he was stealing away his lay for the night, Jason winked at him and gave Alice a quick pash that signaled for the loser to fuck off. Alice went with it for a moment but quickly pulled away laughing into his other ear. Jason nudged his head toward the sleazy man and they both watched in amusement as he stomped away, defeated. "I'm tired and I want a bed. I'm crashing at yours." Alice smiled without showing teeth and then shook her head gently. She pointed to another guy in the crowd with dark hair that looked more Alice's style and Jason rolled his eyes. He really didn't even care if they did it on top of him, he just wanted a fucking bed. He rubbed at his eyes to emphasize just how tired he was and even tried to make puppy dog eyes knowing very well that he wasn't going to win this round. "What about Cece's bed?" Alice pointed with a single finger to the girl's bathroom and Jason could only guess what that meant. He could deal with sex but vomit and god knows what was a no-go zone for Jason and he replied with only a scowl. He was going to have to get comfy on the couch because he probably wasn't going to get a bed tonight and have to crash amongst the clothes in Alice's wardrobe or something. She typed something quickly on her phone and placed it in his hands, it took him a while for the symbols to become letters and the screen light to stop blinding him but he slowly understood the words, although he had to read it twice to double-check what it had said. 'Sulli lives here now @ the dorms. He said we're always welcome to crash at his.' Jason pushed the phone away like it was poison and Alice only raised her eyebrows to imply it was that or the booth and slowly drifted away to flirt with the long haired man. Jason considered his options, he could stay here until they kicked him out which was probably enough time for Alice to do whatever she was planning to do or for Cece to recover and he could crash there or he could take an old friend, if you could it that, up on this offer he had only just heard of and sleep on a god damn bed. He was desperate for sleep and he was leaning more and more toward Sulli's room. The dorms were only a short walk from the bar and then he could collapse into a heap of blankets and bury his head and sleep. There was the catch though and he really didn't want to deal with that tonight. Their past wasn't exactly a great one and he didn't even know where they stood in terms of one another anymore. They'd been strangers, friends, best-friends, more than friends, the whole thing was just one big complicated mess that they'd both decided to just leave a mess and avoid working it all out. Well, that was putting it mildly, last time Jason had checked Sulli hadn't wanted to work it out at all and wanted nothing to do with him but now here he was offering them a place to stay whenever they needed it and Jason really needed it. He wasn't even sure how he managed to get out of the club and into the dormitory in one piece but he'd made it without face planting or heaving up the contents of his stomach. Jason wasn't thinking of what would happen when he saw Sulli again, all he could concentrate on was the bed, and that was the motivation that kept him placing one foot after another after another. The dormitory was almost as loud as the club with girls crying in the stairwell and boys chasing one another throwing cups and toilet paper at one another. Jason frowned, he was fairly sure there was a rule against this sort of thing, but he was mostly just annoyed that he had to step over so many things and talk to so many people on his way to finding Sulli's room. He suddenly realized he didn't even know which room it was and considered snuggling up to the crying girl huddled near his foot. "Where's Sulli's room?", he shouted to nobody in particular. A couple of guys ran past without acknowledging him but a larger girl with freckles and a whole lot of brown hair suddenly stood in front of him and placed her face dangerously close to his. "Sulli Griffin? The blonde boy? He totally lives next door to Sandy, like, I think his roomie is like, Jack, or something! Like just follow the hallway to the end and then turn right and it's the first door! Do you have, like, vodka?" Jason backed up and shook his head fast and began stepping away from the sobbing of the girl on the floor and the overly excited hair girl. He began to feel himself sober up a little and the sudden realization of where he was going began to kick in. He was sober enough to make sure he didn't fall down but he knew he must have been drunk enough to keep venturing forward to face Sulli. He would never have been willing to do this sober and Jason was a little afraid of what was going to happen. The game plan was to get in, find the bed and pass out to avoid all possible confrontations and conversations. He would deal with the consequences in the morning... something that made him feel like throwing up again. He followed the directions and found himself leaning against the door she had said was Sulli's. A whiteboard was stuck to it with a single phone number and a giant drawing of a penis. Lovely. Jason fumbled to find the door handle and as subtly as he could, although it sounded like an earthquake in reality, pushed open the door and stood inside. The room was pitch black and he felt around for a light switch or a bed. He heard something crash to the ground and he muttered something under his breath. He just hoped that he could find the softness of a bed before his hands felt something blonde and not very happy to see him. [/classy][/classy]

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[style=font-family: courier new; font-size: 10px;]TEMPLATE BY JOHN OF OTE & BTN[/style]

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[sullivan tate griffin]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f9f9f9; border: #d96a70 solid 10px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] the eyes of somebody tonight was one of those nights where sulli normally went out with his friends or his girlfriend but instead he had some big paper he had to work on. it was ridiculous having a paper due on a monday, that was just cruel on the professors part. his room-mate had left hours ago so he had been sitting in his room just staring at his computer screen for what seemed like forever. but his girlfriend at least had brought him a few things to make the experience a little more plea sent. picking at the piece of cake she had brought him he didn't have much left until he was all done. then he could spend the rest of the weekend stressing about how he was going to have lunch with his girlfriends parents for the first time on sunday. they had been dating for quite some time and things just continued to get more and more serious. sulli was in love with the girl and this was the first time he really felt that way about someone and he didn't want anything to happen to ruin it. he had to make sure that he made the best impression on her parents so that they wouldn't mind her dating him. normally at first parents weren't really big fans considering the piercings and the dyed hair. but she had already warned them beforehand not to judge before they got to know him so maybe they'd actually give him a chance. after a few more hours of stress he decided to call it a night. as soon as his head hit the pillow he was passed out. there was a loud crash and sulli groaned into his pillow upset that it had woken him. it was most likely his room-mate coming in late, loud, and drunk. sulli was use to it happening and normally he didn't care because he tended to either be over at his girlfriends house or just as drunk with his room-mate. sitting up he rubbed his eyes not wanting to get up but knowing that he would be able to get to bed sooner if he just helped his friend get to bed. squinting his eyes he attempted to figure out what his room-mate was doing but whoever was standing over sulli's desk was way too tall to be sam. frantically looking around the room he needed something that he could use against the burglar. just something that could either scare him away or keep him down long enough for the campus police to get to the room. slowly crawling over to sam's side of the room he picked up the baseball bat he left there in case this were ever to happen and slowly crept up behind the person. bringing the back bat he swung at the persons side cringing when it made contact. watching as the boy fell to the floor he jumped over him to turn on the light and to find his phone so he could call the police. but he knew that as soon as he did that he was going to call his room-mate and just yell for ages. sam was constantly leaving the door unlocked because he could never find his keys when he was drunk and couldn't get back to the room. normally sulli didn't care because he was normally in the room and didn't think anything would happen. the dorm was a pretty safe place and he didn't think that just anyone could come in and just do whatever they wanted. running a hand through his hair he looked at the boy who was on the floor and paused. he couldn't see the guys face but the back of his head did look really familiar. biting his lip he slowly bent down and crossed his fingers begging that this was an actual burglar and not who he thought it was. moving him so that he could see his face sulli sat back in both disbelief and shock. the person who he had just hit with a bat because he thought he was being robbed was jason. why was jason even here in the first place? sulli's mind was racing until he realized why jason was on the floor clutching his side. shit, are you okay? he said getting up and moving closer to get a better look at him. he clenched his teeth trying to focus on what was happening and not how different jason looked from high school. sure he had seen him around sometimes with alice but he just really tried to avoid him as much as possible. they hadn't spoken in so long and him just being in his dorm room was not something he ever expected. should i call an ambulance or something? he asked really hoping that jason would be okay. sulli didn't think he had hit him that hard but just to be safe having a doctor check him over sounded good. that also gave sulli an excuse to get jason out of his room and into a more public setting where he wouldn't feel bad about leaving him. he reeked of alcohol which made sulli think that was probably the reason he wasn't thinking so straight. sober jason would never do something that would involve contact with sulli, he knew how he felt about him and stayed away. he plopped down on the ground next to jason his head in his hands not knowing what he did to get himself into this type of situation. there had to be some god out there that was using his life to amuse himself, this kind of stuff just didn't happen. i knew before, long ago tagged jasonbby<3 words 946 muse animal, mike snow notes jilli 5eva credits irisheyes of C.20

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[jason brody southurst]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,5px,true][atrb=style, background-color: #ededed; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; width: 390px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][classy=postysoy][classy=contento][style=letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom: 2px solid #ededed; font-size: 8px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3px;]{ WHEN I WAKE I DON'T FEEL AS BAD AS I SHOULD }[/style]Jason had broken many bones during his lifetime: falling out of a tree at 8, numerous football injuries, the time Alice dropped the bowling ball on his foot. The pain that shot through his side and sent him spiraling to the floor like a sack of flour, with a reasonable thud as well, made those vivid bone-crunching memories replay and sober him quicker than any cup of coffee or food could do. He was face down on the floor and thinking about nothing else except how much pain he was in and wondering if it was safe enough to roll over or not. He prayed to god he hadn't broken anything because plaster and bandages and resting fucking sucked and he was in college, who wants to spend their freshman year dressed like a mummy and watching The View all day? He carefully rolled one arm out from underneath him and clutched his side, feeling for any protruding bones or obvious trauma, but it was safe...just sore. He let out a sigh of relief that came out sounding like a drunken groan mixed with a yawn and he was happy he landed on something so soft. He could probably fall asleep here and that way he wouldn't bother Sulli, it was pretty comfortable, apart from the searing pain that was throbbing and didn't feel like it was going to stop anytime soon. It took him a couple of more seconds to actually realize what had happened...somebody had attacked him. Here he was, taking up an old friend and a kind offer, only to be ambushed in the middle of the night (and in his state) and left for dead. He wasn't going to let them get away with it that easily. "Shit. Are you okay?" He rolled over to see his attacker and saw none other than Sulli Griffin towering over him. He'd grown an extra head since high school but after blinking once or twice it seemed to disappear and he was left with a familiar looking face, a worried one, but certainly one that had filled his thoughts countless times. He looked down at his side to actually see if there was any visible damage but was left with just the sight of his hand clutching his side. He thought he was going to be sick for a moment but the feeling quickly passed away as he tried to sit up. "What the FUCK? SAUL MUCH?" He tried to pick himself up off the floor but it was a mission that he was destined to fail and he really didn't feel like asking Sulli for help up. He looked at his weapon of choice: a baseball bat. He felt a smirk rise to his lips at the thought of Sulli actually playing sport but the mental image vanished with the constant burning from the spot Sulli had hit him. He lifted his shirt to see if it had bruised already, and sure enough, a huge black patch was beginning to form. He poked it once and regretted it before letting his shirt fall down and collapsing onto the carpet again. "I don't think an ambulance is necessary but a bed would be nice." He tried to make it sound like a joke and to try and defuse the whole situation. He really didn't feel like wandering around whilst he was probably internally hemorrhaging and wanted to at least get one last decent sleep before he died. He figured Sulli probably thought it was an intruder and reacted before he knew who it was but there was still the lingering thought that he had known who it was and hit him anyway...he did kind of deserve it. Jason had left him alone though, let him dwell in his unhappiness and self loathing or whatever, the least he could do in return was lend him a bed for staying away for so long. It really hadn't been an easy journey for him and he'd had his doubts of whether he could actually do it. Sure, in the first couple of weeks, he'd left texts and voice mails and the occasional letter slid under the door. He didn't like thinking of those times though, inf act, out of all the whole situation he regretted that part of the whole "relationship" the most. He'd shown exactly how pathetic and vulnerable and desperate he really was and the worst part was it hadn't worked and Sulli had ignored it all. Jason scowled and realized the memories actually hurt more than his recently acquired injury so he poked at it a bit more in the hopes it would clear his mind. He thought about trying to make a stumble for the door, he could get that loud, big haired girl to help him into any of the rooms and any of the beds and he could die happily with a pillow under his head. He really hated drunk Jason and the stupid situations he got sober Jason into and he was definitely going to suffer the consequences in the morning in so many ways that Jason was hoping he'd kind of never wake up...if he even ever got to sleep. He looked at his old friend ( and his new....?) and offered a small laugh that sounded sour and forced but he was drunk so he went with it. He extended his hand for him to take and it was up to him if he would help him or not but one way or another Jason was going to stand up. He wasn't sure what would happen next...if Sulli would make him leave or offer him a bed? What would happen in the morning if he even ever woke up. For all Jason knew, Sulli could smother him in his sleep and the thought of staying in the room with him became even more undesirable but he could see the bed in the not so distant room and he could almost feel the blankets and the softness and the warmth. He looked desperately at Sulli to try and express to him in ways that words could not to please, please, PLEASE, just let him go to sleep and they could kill each other or ignore one another or whatever in the morning. He was about to die of pain and exhaustion and he just wanted to get the hell up. [/classy][/classy]

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[style=font-family: courier new; font-size: 10px;]TEMPLATE BY JOHN OF OTE & BTN[/style]

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[sullivan tate griffin]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f9f9f9; border: #d96a70 solid 10px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] the eyes of somebody his eyes followed him carefully as jason just stared at him for a moment. maybe he was in shock? had sulli really hit him that hard? sulli couldn't help but wince when jason began to yell at him. "i'm really sorry, I honestly didn't know--" he began before pausing and realizing that he wasn't the one in the wrong here. jason was the one that snuck into his room in the middle of the night after everything that happened between them. he had no right to be getting angry at sulli for hitting him, it was an honest mistake. sulli wouldn't have hit him if he was able to tell who if was in the dark, though it would have been very tempting. lucky for jason, sulli was never the violent type. "actually, no i'm not" he said out loud surprising himself. "you were the one sneaking into my room, it’s the middle of the night!" he added raising his voice. running a hand through his hair which was sticking up in all directions, he really wished he had decided to go out tonight. would he have just come home and found jason sleeping at his door? what if his girlfriend happened to be with him, how was he exactly supposed to explain to her why he hated jason and never wanted to see him? the last thing he needed at this point was the both of them meeting. sulli didn't even want to think about the thoughts that would go through her mind if she found out he had been involved with a guy. she would breakup with him right then and there he was sure of it. all sulli wanted to do was yell a string of curse words but he didn't want to wake the rest of the hall up. having a bunch of angry college students at his door would just really help make the night even worse. he tried to hide the worried look on his face when jason lifted his shirt to exam the area that sulli had hit. he was hoping that it would just be fine and he could send jason on his way back go alice, wherever she happened to be at this time. instead he revealed a very nasty looking bruise that had already begun to form. it was obvious by the looks of it that the hit he had given was much worse than he thought. he fidgeted around for a moment, wondering if anything had broken. even though he was attempting to stay mad at jason it was really hard not to feel guilty for what he had done. he breathed a sigh of relief when jason said he wouldn't need an ambulance, not even realizing that he had been holding his breath in anticipation. now that he didn't have that to worry about he just had to figure out what to do with jason. if anyone else had asked for a bed to sleep in for the night he wouldn't have hesitated or even have to really think about saying yes. but did he really want to offer him a place to stay? sulli didn't want to make it seem as though he had forgiven him for what he had done, and he definitely didn't want him thinking he could come over again. he looked at jasons outstretched hand not sure if he was going to help him or not. he began to extend his arm towards him but then took it back. "no" he said quietly mostly to himself. "why'd you come here of all places?" he asked his blue eyes zoned in on him. he didn't want to start a fight especially not when jason was drunk and injured but he just had to know. what compelled him to sneak into the one place he knew he wouldn't be welcomed. how did he even find out where he lived? sulli had so many questions to ask but he wasn't so sure jason would be willing to answer any of them. he was still standing so he pulled out his chair and took a seat. sulli was sitting in front of the door so unless he wanted jason to leave there was no getting out of there. in any other circumstance jason could fight his way out but he was drunk and was dealing with too much pain to really do anything. i knew before, long ago tagged jasonbby<3 words 737 muse animal, miike snow notes I wrote this all on my phone!!! Maggie checked it :3credits irisheyes of C.20

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[jason brody southurst]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,5px,true][atrb=style, background-color: #ededed; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; width: 390px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][classy=postysoy][classy=contento][style=letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom: 2px solid #ededed; font-size: 8px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3px;]{ WHEN I WAKE I DON'T FEEL AS BAD AS I SHOULD }[/style]Sulli was either drunk as well, a reasonable assumption to make seeings as everyone else in the building was, or had developed schizophrenia in the last year or so since they had talked last. Jason knew that one thing was for certain and that was that he couldn't quite make up his mind of what to say or rather what he was feeling. He apologized one moment only to argue that it was Jason's fault he had been hit. Jason tried to roll his eyes but the angle he was lying on and the throbbing in his head made the whole thing quite painful and he probably looked like one of Sulli's future mental ward roomies. He cleared his throat before he spoke, half to stop himself from spitting out phlegm and half to make himself appear more assertive, trying to lean on both hands so he wasn't staring at Sulli's face upside down. "Believe me, this wasn't at the top of my list of places to stay but it was probably the most available, or so I thought!" Jason wouldn't have even considered coming here if it wasn't for Alice's text that led him on the stupid wild goose chase to get some shut eye. He could see the other room from where he was lying and just make out the leg of one of the bed frames. It was so close yet so far away. He considered dragging himself over to it but the tone in Sulli's voice sounded pretty upset and he'd grown into quite the violent man. He would probably lay into him a couple of more times with the bat before he could make it there. He rubbed his side again, the pain had grown a bit more intense, but he knew it was because the alcohol was wearing off. His eyes were growing heavier by the second and he could feel every muscle in his body grow tight with weariness. He hadn't thought he had done a lot of exercise today but his body was obviously begging to differ. Jason was aware that he was still holding out his arm like a fool for help getting up. He shook it a little to remind Sulli that it was there and he wasn't just holding it up for the sake of it being in the air. Sulli moved his arm forward to help and with some extra effort Jason leaned forward to shift his body closer to Sulli's arm and to make it easier in lifting him up but then Sulli was retracting the offer and Jason was sent plummeting back to the ground. The thud back onto the floor hurt his side quite a bit and hurt his head even more but the fact that Sulli hadn't helped and made it quite clear he wasn't welcome here hurt the most. "Alice told me that if we ever needed a place to crash then your door was open, which it was by the way, you should probably lock it if you don't want strangers wandering in. I didn't realize you had to pay a fee of internal hemorrhaging either but I'm glad we're on top of that one!" Jason had no idea what was happening anymore. Was Sulli's master plan just to let him lay there so they could swap angry banter at one another until he decided to go to bed and Jason could somehow escape? He knew Sulli hated him, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, he also knew he wasn't meant to be here at all. The offer was clearly meant for Alice and Cece and this was probably all some game to amuse Alice when he came back and screamed at her for getting him into this mess. He could practically see her twisted smile now, she was completely evil but he couldn't blame her, the dramatics of the whole situation was too perfect not to mess around with and he knew she wouldn't be able to resist toying around with a situation like this one. He noticed Sulli had taken a seat in front of the door, he didn't like the fact that he was blocking the exit or that he had positioned himself higher than Jason, looking down on him like he was a stupid pet or something. Jason could lay here for a while and muster up enough strength to move Sulli out of the way and escape. He knew he was stronger than him and if he was standing he could definitely move him out of the way, drunk or sober, so maybe that was why Sulli hadn't helped him up, maybe Sulli wanted to talk? Jason felt a bad taste in his mouth and it definitely wasn't the alcohol (although it contributed to it a lot), he didn't want to sit here and talk about his feelings, if he wanted to be a stereotypical gay he'd be sitting at home, crying and listening to Vanessa Carlton, all he wanted was a bed and some sleep. "For someone who doesn't want me here, you're sure as hell making it seem like you want me to stay!" Jason pointed in a effortless lift of his finger to Sulli's position and the door. Staring at the grimy roof and wondering why he had even bothered to come here for a bed in the first place and thinking of all the decent gardens he could have curled up in or random's beds he could have crashed on, why had this seemed like a good idea? Jason knew that it hadn't been a good idea at all, he was sure drunk Jason had even known it was a bad idea but he knew why he had trudged on over and given up on getting the only thing he wanted in the hopes he could get it in Sulli's room. Jason loved to torture himself, it was completely evident in tonight's plans, he knew something like this would go down and he knew that seeing Sulli would only make the next few months even more torturous than they would have been and he'd gone ahead and made his way to Sulli's room anyway. "Seeings as you're not helping me up and intending on trapping me here, can you at least chuck me a pillow to keep my head elevated? You don't really want to be cleaning vomit off your carpet or giving CPR to me as I choke to death on my own spew, do you?" [/classy][/classy]

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[style=font-family: courier new; font-size: 10px;]TEMPLATE BY JOHN OF OTE & BTN[/style]

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[sullivan tate griffin]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f9f9f9; border: #d96a70 solid 10px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] the eyes of somebody sulli couldn't help but sigh and begin to understand the situation once he mentioned alice. of course she told jason to come here just to see what would happen, it was something he knew he should have expected from her. though even if she had made the suggestion he never really thought jason would take her up on it, but from how badly he reeked of alcohol it was obvious he wasn't thinking straight. but even when he was drunk jason still knew the right things to say to keep sulli speechless and hopelessly confused. when he had told alice that she could come over whenever he had just meant her. the invitation wasn't just open to everyone, only to those people he actually considered his friends. even though he use to think of jason as a good friend they were far from that now. he resisted rolling his eyes when jason spoke about him not locking his door. it wasn't his fault that his roommate was constantly leaving the thing open he just didn't care. but now that it was obvious just anyone could get into the dorms he was hoping he would reconsider his actions. if he didn't then sulli knew he was most definitely not living with this guy again. he didn't want a repeat of this night happening with someone else who actually did intend on stealing his things. jason had a point, maybe sulli didn't want him to leave. he honestly just really needed to understand his reasoning for coming here. why did he have to come back when things were going so well for him and remind him what he did in his past? he already couldn't face one of his former best friends because the guilt was too much for him and they ended up losing contact. but now he was in an actual serious relationship with a girl he really liked and the one person who confused him the most when it came to his sexuality just popped out of nowhere. but maybe it would just be better for him if he didn't ask questions and just tried to just forget all about this night. forget all about jason somehow finding his way to his room and wanting to stay over. "you can stay" he said quietely knowing that jason coudl still hear him. if anyone had told him just this morning that he would be allowing jason to spend the night in this room he would have told them they were insane. that was the last thing on earth he had ever expected himself to do and yet here he was. getting up and walking over to him sulli reached for him and helped him up. he didn't even bother extending a hand and waiting for him to take it because he knew jason would most likely think he would reject him again. honestly he was just tired of the arguing and he just wanted to get back to sleep. then when he woke up jason would be gone and he could just pretend it had all been a bad dream. sulli had tried the whole angry thing but it just wasn't working for him. he was never one to hold a grudge even with something as serious as what happened. as much as he wanted to hate jason and enjoy seeing him suffer he couldn't bring himself to actually do it. all he really could do was continue to ignore jason and keep him out of his life. "my roommate won't be back till tomorrow afternoon, just make sure you're gone in the morning" he said simply avoiding making eye contact. after he was sure jason was up and not going to fall over he made his way back to his bed not bothering to help him to his roommate's. all he wanted to do was somehow fall asleep knowing that jason was in the room just a few feet away. how he was going to do that he had no idea. slipping himself under the covers he turned away from jason and faced the wall closing his eyes. he listened waiting for the shuttle of feet notifying him that jason had made it to the bed. he was sure that jason would be out like a light while sulli would most likely spend the entire night tossing and turning attempting to rid his mind of thoughts he didn't want. i knew before, long ago tagged jasonbby<3 words 740 muse animal, miike snow notes sucks but the next one will be better <3credits irisheyes of C.20

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[jason brody southurst]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,5px,true][atrb=style, background-color: #ededed; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; width: 390px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][classy=postysoy][classy=contento][style=letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom: 2px solid #ededed; font-size: 8px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3px;]{ WHEN I WAKE I DON'T FEEL AS BAD AS I SHOULD }[/style]Everything was happening so slowly. It was as if time had slowed down just to make Jason suffer in the pain longer, to experience the tiredness and to sit uncomfortably while Sulli weighed out what to do. Jason was sure this was punishment for all the things he'd done wrong, sitting in a room with the one person who detested him the most and begging him for somewhere to stay, he was going to pay Alice back for this one. He was angry the alcohol wasn't helping mask the pain and the awkwardness that was so clearly evident in the room he couldn't even bring himself to joke about it. This was the last place he wanted to be and now that he was sober enough to at least remotely think straight, he felt sick to the stomach and it wasn't because of everything he'd drunk and the beating he'd taken to get to this position. "You can stay." Jason didn't know how to answer that or how to respond, he kept still and slowly closed his eyes dreading every moment that was going to come after this. He hated alcohol, he hated himself for thinking this was a good idea and he hated Sulli's stupid kindness, of course he'd let him stay, of course he would. It didn't matter that Jason had manipulated and tortured the boy his whole senior year, not to mention himself and others, Sulli had to be the gentleman, the good guy, and sure enough here he was coming toward him to help him up. Jason didn't bother reaching out for him to take his hand, he lay perfectly still, Sulli assuming he was a lot drunker than he really was and lifting him up with ease. Jason stood for the first time in front of his old friend and he felt dizzy and like death and he just wished that Sulli would disappear for a second, that he'd wake up in the stupid club and dreamed this all up, that it wasn't too late to make an escape. An escape. Sulli was avoiding looking at him, staring everywhere else but him which made everything a little easier but didn't help anything at all. He was talking and Jason was only half listening, working out the best ways to get out of the room without him noticing, hoping that he wouldn't care if he slipped away which in reality probably wasn't far from the truth. He tuned in to the catch the gist of the conversation, something about his roommate returning at lunchtime and to be out of there by then, Jason nodded, mostly to himself. He would definitely be out of there by tomorrow midday. Sulli walked to his bed, not looking back to see if Jason was following, and he took the chance to dart out of the room and out into the corridor. The crowds of people still hadn't died down even though it must have been only a couple of hours until morning, the faces all blurring into one and unfamiliar, assuming he was just a part of their rowdy crew. He shoved them aside without really thinking of where he was going and kept moving, one thing certain in his mind, he had to be as far away from Sulli and that room as possible, it was just too much. Reaching the end of the hallway (too afraid to try and make a getaway via the staircase) he collapsed into the doorway of someone's room he didn't know, knocking against the pine door with his head in the hopes they would open and let him hideaway. There was a small ounce of hope that Sulli would act the hero and come find him and force him to stay under his watchful eye, a small hope that he actually still cared but Jason knew that was a long shot and definitely just a wish. Whoever opened the door, he thought, better have a double bed with his name on it. He may not have been as drunk as he had first been since stumbling into this dormitory (that seemed a substitute for hell) and he may not have been in as much pain than lying on Sulli's floor but he was still exhausted and that had only gotten worse. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the door skirts hoping that the noise would die down and maybe everyone would just let him sleep here, maybe give him a blanket. He slowly began to think of all the ways he could torture Alice to get Sulli and the disasters of the night out of his mind but his stupid face and stupidly goofy grin kept reappearing and he accepted it was still going to be a long night. [/classy][/classy]

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[style=font-family: courier new; font-size: 10px;]TEMPLATE BY JOHN OF OTE & BTN[/style]

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[sullivan tate griffin]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f9f9f9; border: #d96a70 solid 10px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] the eyes of somebody sulli hard jason moving around but instead of his steps getting closer they were getting further away. moving his position he sat up and looked over at jason who was running out the door and into the hall. sulli just looked at the closed door completely shocked and confused. after everything that had happened why did jason all of a sudden decide to just leave? he was in no condition to get anywhere with the amount he had been drinking and the blow he had just taken. running a hand through his hair sulli wasn't sure what he should do. what made most sense was if he locked his door and went back to sleep and just forgot it all happened. that way he could also keep jason from coming back in case he changed his mind and decided he did want to stay here after all. but of course sulli being who he was could only think about how jason wasn't going to get anywhere and would probably just end up passed out in the hall somewhere. as everything went on through his head he just continued to sit there and try to pick between the two options. would it really be that big of a deal if he just let jason stay over for the night? he highly doubted anything would happen again considering how sulli had reacted when he saw him. the guilt was getting to him and sulli ended up jumping out of bed and rushing into the hall. once he was in the hall he shuddered for a moment at how cold the floors were then wondered why everyone was staring at him. looking down he realized he had just run out into the hall in only his boxers because that was how he had went to bed. then he began to think about how he had that entire conversation practically naked and not once had he made a comment about it. brushing off the stares he continued to walk down the hall searching for where jason could have gone. fortunately he didn't have to go very far because jason had only made it to the end of the hall. he could see him knocking on one of the doors which caused him to quicken his step. when the owner opened the door sulli had just reached it. "sorry about my friend, he had too much to drink" he explained with a smile as the person chuckled understandingly and closed the door. "why'd you leave?" he asked even though he very well knew the answer. the situation was completely backwards now that sulli was actually asking him why he left. that was all he had wanted just a few moments ago and now he wanted an explanation for why jason was doing what he had really wanted. he was sure that he had to be bipolar or something and jason would probably think the same. sulli was constantly changing his mind on how he felt about having jason around and it was starting to give him a massive headache. "look honestly, you can stay the night it's not a big deal" he lied easily to both himself and jason. even though he was telling himself it wasn't a big deal and that they were just going to be in the same room for a few hours. they wouldn't even be wake to be able to feel the awkward tension that they had. it would be easy and he would be done before he knew it. but the more he thought that the more he thought about how in the world he was going to actually fall asleep. sulli was now wide awake and his mind was racing, there was no way he was getting to bed anytime soon. "just come back with me" he said offering his hand to jason hoping that he would decide to take it. everyone glanced over now and then at the two of them but didn't seem to care much because it just looked like someone trying to deal with their drunk friend which essentially what it was. minus the friend part of course because they were far from that. even though they had a bad history he was practically begging jason to come back with him, it was ridiculous. i knew before, long ago tagged jasonbby<3 words 720 muse animal, miike snow notes oh sulli boyyy. credits irisheyes of C.20

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[jason brody southurst]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,5px,true][atrb=style, background-color: #ededed; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; width: 390px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][classy=postysoy][classy=contento][style=letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom: 2px solid #ededed; font-size: 8px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3px;]{ WHEN I WAKE I DON'T FEEL AS BAD AS I SHOULD }[/style]Jason had slept in much worse places than the door frame his head was resting on.He vaguely remembered sleeping in his boxers on the school oval one year after stumbling presumably home from a party and there was the time he'd slept in a bathtub after drunkenly passing out in there and continued sleeping when someone turned the taps on, the photos all over Facebook the next day were proof of that. He'd barely had his eyes closed for a couple of seconds before the sounds of the hallway were gone and he was off and drifting into a sleep that he'd been after for hours. He couldn't tell how long he'd been asleep for maybe a minute, maybe a couple of hours, all he knew was that unfortunately this wasn't a dream or even a nightmare and he was no longer asleep as Sulli shook him awake. Jason was aware of someone standing in the doorway behind him but they were there for only a split second as Jason was hauled to his feet and Sulli was talking again. "Why'd you leave?" Jason felt a faint scowl appear on his face remembering the night in unpleasantly vivid detail and almost turned around and demanded to be rescued by the stranger behind the door he was just asleep on. He was never a morning person and it was very early in the morning and considering there was no right side of the bed to wake up and there was only one way up from the door frame, he reacted in true Jason fashion. "Why'd you wake me up?" He didn't feel the need to actually answer the question when it was so painfully obvious. It was the whole reason they'd had the whole unfortunate back and forth as he had writhed around in agony from Sulli's surprisingly strong bat-hand. He didn't really feel the need to bring it up again so they could exchange witty banter once more and Sulli could make that tortured expression on his face as he deliberated on whether to let him stay or leave. Jason shifted uncomfortably on his feet, looking over Sulli's shoulders to see a conga line go down the stairs, he looked at the boy with what he could only imagine to be an incredibly sour expression as the blonde boy finally answered him, clearly picking up on Jason's disgruntlement. "Look honestly, you can stay the night it's not a big deal." Lies. Jason knew that he was saying that to make the situation appear fine so he could go to sleep knowing that whatever Jason had interfered with by seeking out a place to stay was going to be fine in the morning. Jason rolled his eyes, he knew what the verdict was going to be whether he liked it or not, he didn't have to be psychic to know what the next words rolling off the Californian's tongue would be. "Just come back with me." Jason just shrugged and beckoned for Sulli to lead the way, stumbling a bit at first but regaining his feet as he followed, making sure that he didn't need someone to help him get there or that he wasn't going to try and escape again. He didn't know why he was doing this, he didn't want to be here, Sulli didn't want him there, it would have been easier to pass out in a doorway. He was doing this to prove that he was different to how he had acted before and wasn't going to do anything stupid despite being a drunken mess and having to be rescued. He walked past the abandoned weapon Sulli had used to knock him to the floor and he didn't have to be told twice not to run away as he made his way to his roommates bed. He wondered what his roommate was like, if it was anyone he knew? Probably not. There was a small thought at the back of his head of how it could have been if he had done things differently, how this could have even been his bed at some stage or he could have been sleeping in the one beside it. "Do you miss being friends?" He probably startled Sulli, he was probably thinking that once he hit the mattress he would have been dead but being woken up and all these thoughts swimming around Jason knew it was going to be a while before he attempted sleep again. The question although it sounded pretty simple actually scared the crap out of him and he was regretting spitting it out, especially now, where he couldn't even escape the answer. He was hoping Sulli would just ignore it and pass it off as drunken rambling even though Jason didn't feel all that drunk anymore. He almost told him to forget it or to try and snore and pass it off as sleep talking but he stopped himself, he wanted to know the answer, he needed to know the answer...even if it was going to haunt him for the next few nights replaying over and over in his head. [/classy][/classy]

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[style=font-family: courier new; font-size: 10px;]TEMPLATE BY JOHN OF OTE & BTN[/style]

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[sullivan tate griffin]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f9f9f9; border: #d96a70 solid 10px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] the eyes of somebody he had to bite his tongue in order to keep himself from giving a response to jason. after offering him an actual bed to stay in he apparently preferred the doorframe of some stranger. a stranger who would most likely report him in order to get rid of him which in turn would just end up with jason in trouble. first of all he wasn't even supposed to be in this dorm and second he was underage and drunk. sulli kept repeating to himself that this was just drunk jason talking and that he shouldn't be too angry at him. "i'm trying to help you" he stressed to him calmly and slowly. he was just making the situation even more difficult for sulli than it already was. his fingers were tapping against his side in an attempt to calm himself down but it wasn't really working. his blue eyes focused on the guy who had caused him so much trouble in the past as he waited for him to accept his help. jason didn't speak as sulli attempted to convince him to come along with him. he had to know that this was his best option and there was no way he would be able to just sleep out in the hall. all jason did was gesture to him to go on and sulli pulled back his offered hand and waited for jason to get up. watching as he attempted to stand sulli didn't try to help him when he stumbled knowing that was the last thing he wanted right now. keeping his hands to his side he waited until he was stable enough to walk and slowly began to walk to his room. from the corner of his eye he was watching carefully to ensure that he wouldn't end up falling. at least he was moving more stably than sulli had expected from him. opening the door to his room he waited for jason to enter and then locked it behind him to prevent any other episodes. by the time he turned around jason was already in bed and sulli breathed a sigh of relief. now heading to his own bed sulli went under the covers and turned to face the wall. closing his eyes he was attempting to go to sleep but it wasn't really working for him. he had expected jason to have passed out at this point so when he heard him asking him a question his heart skipped a beat. why was he still awake? if this boy could sleep in a doorframe why was it so difficult to actually sleep in his bed? the question he asked constantly repeated in sulli's head but he wasn't sure if he wanted to answer it. maybe he could pretend to be asleep and jason could just assume that was why he hadn't answered the question. a few minutes passed before sulli finally said something. "sometimes" he said quietly only offering that as a response. as much as sulli just wanted to say no he had to admit that they had good times hanging out. he use to consider jason one of his good friends one of the people who actually made him enjoy being in maryland after his move. sulli badly just wanted to go back to those times when everything was simple and just take back that night that should have never happened between the both of them. if that hadn't occurred maybe he'd actually be able to face nolan and they could still be friends to this day. sulli didn't want to think of any of this he just wanted to go to sleep and get this night over with. squeezing his eyes shut he prayed that he'd fall asleep fast before jason said something else that would send his mind into a frenzy he wasn't ready for. i knew before, long ago tagged jasonbby<3 words 643 muse animal, miike snow notes oh sulli boyyy. credits irisheyes of C.20

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[jason brody southurst]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellspacing,5px,true][atrb=style, background-color: #ededed; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; width: 390px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][classy=postysoy][classy=contento][style=letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom: 2px solid #ededed; font-size: 8px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3px;]{ WHEN I WAKE I DON'T FEEL AS BAD AS I SHOULD }[/style]His mind flickered from one thought to the next, most were about if Sulli would actually answer, some were about what he wanted him to say, some were about what he was afraid he was about to say. He thought about the old days, senior year, he thought about his ex-boyfriend who didn't occupy his thoughts if he could help it (the thoughts normally coming with an overwhelming sensation of guilt and self-loathing). He thought about Alice and the tree-house they used to play in as kids and he thought about Cece and all the things he'd done to her since "moving" in, a faint smile of amusement appearing but fading when Sulli's voice had spoken up. "Sometimes." Jason was both comforted and angry at his reply and he wanted to do something, say something that could express how he felt but he lay there, perfectly still, and listened to the faint cries of the other kids in the corridor not dealing with the dramas he'd inadvertently caused for himself. He wanted to tell Sulli that he thought about being friends with him all of the time, that he thought about him for such an unhealthily amount of time that the fact that he said, "Sometimes", so nonchalantly, so emotionlessmade him actually want to grab the bat on the floor and put himself out of the misery of knowing it was unwanted. Then he realized that of course he would say that, of course he would mean that. Why should Sulli want to be friends with the one person who had destroyed two friendships and caused two people who'd been friends longer than he had with the two of them and cause them never to speak to each other again? What right did he have being friends with Sulli? What right did he have being in this room? Alice hated when he got like this, she said nobody did the whole self hate thing better than him but how could he not. He was selfish, he had a good thing going with Nolan and yes, they'd had their difficulties and that was how the whole Sulli thing had happened but the Sulli thing had been there all along. If he was going to get technical, it had always been Sulli. And he didn't want to say it but he was afraid it was true, it was always going to be Sulli. He was definitely not going to sleep now, he could feel a migraine settling in and all he wanted was to be out of the room that felt like it was getting smaller and smaller, but he knew Sulli wouldn't be letting that happen. He wanted to appear calm like he had, not phased by questions about their personal life even though he knew it should be off topic, he wanted to make Sulli as uncomfortable as he was, maybe then he'd be allowed to leave? He was going to dig and scratch at old wounds in an attempt to just let him run away so he could crawl on back home and ruin whatever crazy sex thing Alice was up to with that guy from the club or snuggle in next to Cece in the risk of waking up in a pool of vomit. "So what's up with your love life? Got a girlfriend? Boyfriend?" He knew this was a bad move to make, possibly the worst, but the worst thing that could happen had happened. They weren't friends. He didn't want to be friends and there was now no hope of going back. He had to stick to his guns and play his cards right, make him mad and get the hell out of there. He knew it was going to hurt, it was going to suck big time, he hated seeing Sulli upset and he hated being the reason he was upset, but he had to get out of there. He had to. [/classy][/classy]

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[style=font-family: courier new; font-size: 10px;]TEMPLATE BY JOHN OF OTE & BTN[/style]

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