SEBASTIAN // WE CANNOT ESCAPE THE PAST *

[KODA SEBASTIAN PIERCE]

koda managed to stumble out of his friend's car with a beer. thanks for the ride! looking at the smythe residence, he didn't see the parent's cars in the driveway. it wasn't odd for them to be out. so koda used his extra key to walk straight through the front door.

he continued through the house. sebastian! i'm home.. he needed to find out what time it is. his natural clock wasn't really working at the moment and he'd been out so late sometimes, his sleep cycle had been completely off. coming up the stairs, he decided to go over to sebastian's room. he would most likely be in there if anywhere at all.

opening the door, he slid through. what's up, babe? his blue eyes focused on his boyfriend.

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[sebastian james smythe]

sebastian looked at the clock, his body overwhelmed with a sense of anger as he read the digits: 2:10 AM. he paced around the room, his bare feet squeaking against the wooden floor boards of his room, as he awaited for koda to return home. he snatched his iphone off of his dresser to check if koda had made an attempt to reach him. nothing.

after a moment, sebastian heard the jiggling of the door handle and the light creaking sounds of the floor board as koda made his way upstairs. upon entering the room sebastian shot an unpleasant glare at the inebriated boy. "what's up?" he mocked, his voice somewhat stern and disappointed. "do you have any idea what time it is?"

he scanned the boy carefully, his eyes fixated on the beer that koda had clutched firmly in his hand. he shook his head in disbelief as he moved closer to koda. "where where you?" he questioned.

[KODA SEBASTIAN PIERCE]

Koda could feel Sebastian was a bit angry with him. Koda understood. Sebastian did take him into his house. Oh, yeah I'm sorry I got lost track of time at this party. He made his way over to Sebastian, and put his arms around his waist and gave give a quick kiss.

So I'm tired and yeah. And I saw your parents weren't home...so maybe I could sleep in here with you, today? he said with a tipsy waggle of the brows. He let go of Sebastian and waltzed over to his bed before letting himself fall onto it with his beer in his hand still, being sure to hold it up to avoid spillage. Oh, want some beer? I forgot to ask you. There isn't that much left though...sorry...

[sebastian james smythe]

sebastian watched as the boy wobbled his way toward him, the stale aroma of alcohol attached to his clothes. "whatever." he said in a fake sugary tone. sebastian rolled his eyes at koda's response. he allowed the boy to kiss him, however he pulled away quickly as she methodically thought of his next response. was he angry? yes, of course. koda was a guest in his house, and couldn't bother to show the decency of a call. What was he not telling sebastian?

he looked at the boy as he flopped on the bed, a displeasing look still plastered on his face. he needed answers. he wasn't going to settle for anything less. "no, i don't want any beer." he replied as he made his way toward koda on the bed.

he sat down next to the boy, the displeased look still plastered on his face and his hands folded in his lap as he began to formulate his next response. "hope you had fun tonight." he snapped.

[KODA SEBASTIAN PIERCE]

flopping on the bed, his body bounced on top. you smell good sebastian. like I don't know. I don't think it's cologne. His blue eyes facing towards sebastian as he laid back on the bed. with the quick, snappy whatever thrown at him, koda could see that Sebastian was still flustered for whatever reason.

oh okay then..uhm is something wrong? are you still mad at me? i'm sorry, okay? he lifted himself up and propped himself on his hands angled behind him. he was a bit confused by sebastian's temper at the moment. he stared, still confused at the boy. usually, he wasn't this upset about koda coming in late so why was it such a big deal, now? so koda scooted himself even closer to the boy. uhm, i'm sorry about that. i didn't mean to piss you off. he placed his hand on sebastian's knee. i didn't think you'd get this mad about it. he gave a quick peck on the cheek. if you're still mad, we can talk about it tomorrow cause i'm really tired.

[sebastian james smythe]

the reason why sebastian was mad at koda was much deeper then him deciding to come in late. in fact, he couldn't have cared less what time koda made his way back into the house as long as he didn't get caught. what made today different then? koda was a grown man and he could take care of himself. but the stale aroma of alcohol clutched to not only koda's clothes but his breath and it displeased sebastian.

he watched as koda flopped on the bed and commented on sebastian's smell. it's called a shower. he thought and rolled his eyes at the boy. if only he could say the same about poor koda. "thanks." he muttered quietly as he made his way closer to the boy. the smell of cigarettes, sweat and alcohol clung on his body and disgusted him. he shook his head at the boy, his deep brown eyes locking in to the crystal blue eyes of koda's as he studied him for a moment.

he cared about koda. it was apparent by his allowing koda to live with him, but lately he was having doubts about the two's relationship. koda was always out partying and drinking and sebastian was often left at home. it bugged sebastian that he had idea who koda was hanging out with, but imagined he was hooking up with other people. i mean, after all, koda and sebastian did meet after a hookup.

"is something wrong? yes, something it wrong koda." he said, his voice raising slightly as he shifted his eyes away from the boy. sebastian had so much he wanted to say and now was going to be that time where everything came out into the light. it was now or never. koda moved closer toward him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, the smell of alcohol even stronger now causing sebastian to flinch. "i want to talk about this now." he began, standing up to face the boy. "you are always out getting drunk with random fucking people. i don't get it."

it was evident that sebastian was angry at koda, and much to koda's surprise he was going to get an earful from his boyfriend. sebastian needed validation. he needed answers. he wasn't content with assuming how koda spent his time, he wanted to know even if it hurt him. "are you out fucking guys? we both know you're good for that." he replied, a dagger slicing between the two. koda and sebastian did begin to date after hooking up, so it wasn't entirely false but he knew that what he said would, without a doubt, spark an argument.

[KODA SEBASTIAN PIERCE]

koda was ready to sleep into oblivion. his eyes were growing heavy and it was hard to keep them open. he was he was looking forward to a cuddle session tonight. but first he needed sometthing that would give a warning that whatever sebastian was angry about was no big deal. koda didn't think much about heading out without sebastian. he was pretty satisfied with it other days. so what made today so different? if sebastian had a problem with it, well then it was about time he spoke up. koda could use the help.

koda's big blue eyes seemed dull at this late at night. he was barely conscious. not very aware of him staring at sebastian, waiting for him to say something. koda hoped the boy knew he meant well. he just had a hard time coping with the fact his parents really wanted nothing to do with him. sure, they weren't too close in the first place, but he didn't expect them to hate him. that was a curveball he certainly wasn't expecting. he sighed as he stared into space. hopefully sebastian didn't mind his vulgar appearance. he usually didn't. sebastian was nice for at least keeping his opinions about that to himself.

and sebastian spoke up. koda seemed a bit offguard by how seriously sebastian was taking this. maybe he would bring up how koda needed help, not that he didn't know that already with how many times he had left sebastian alone here just for him to have some drinks at another person's place. oh, well now you tell me. okay...uhmmm so....what are we talking about? what he didn't get was how sebastian said they were random people. they were usually kids form the school who were just willing to share a drink with koda. well you and i both know these kids. they're from school. you've seen them. i've seen them. they're not random kids. they're usually in my crowd. you'd know more about them if you hung out with me more often. he was quick to rebuttle any argument sent his way. but what sebastian said next knocked koda out of his lethargic state.

wait, i'm sorry. do you want to repeat that or did i hear right? he was quick to stand up face to face with sebastian. wait, so you think i'm fucking with other guys? are you fucking kidding me? do you really have that little faith in me right now? you have to be shitting me. be couldn't really believe sebastian had been thinking he'd been sleeping with other guys this entire time. how long had he been thinking that? koda wasn't a slut. sebastian, why would you ever fucking think that? you know i've only slept with two guys before. you and jamie. and that's it! I even fessed up when i slept with jamie. it wasn't like you dragged it out of me.

[sebastian james smythe]

as furious as sebastian was at koda at the moment, he knew that the argument was completely and utterly ridiculous. he cared about koda and knew that he meant well - he was strictly the victim of unappreciative and unsupportive parents. sebastian knew that all too clear. although he was openly gay his parents were vindictive pricks who only cared about themselves. it was never much of a surprise where he got his temper or general nature. he continued to stand this time facing the boy, noticing instantly how his nature turned from calm and tired to extremely pissed off. part of sebastian knew that his decision to speak up was a bad one although he knew it needed to be done sooner or later.

ever since koda moved in sebastian began to feel more and more alone. this was possibly attributed to koda's penchant for going out and grabbing drinks with friends, often without a mere invitation being extended to him. was he not a good enough boyfriend? sure he let the boy live in his house, and enjoyed his company, but sebastian began to think that maybe he wasn't what his boyfriend wanted. maybe koda wanted more out of sebastian that he couldn't provide. you couldn't blame him for assuming koda was going out to fulfill his needs with some other guy, right? that was one of the many problems in the relationship, outside of koda's drinking habits and somber attitude. maybe koda was effected by getting kicked out of his parents, sebastian understood that. what he didn't understand was how he could allow himself to get to self-destructive and push away from the one guy who cared about him. maybe that was what sebastian was angry.

"i know who they are. i was trying to make a fucking point." he scoffed, his hands waving everywhere as he talked. sebastian wasn't exactly sure why koda was defending himself. it wasn't like koda went out of his way to invite him. what kind of boyfriend would sebastian be if he just invited himself? his guess was not a very good one. he knew that koda needed his time, and he was happy to give him that, but when you spend more time with your friends then your boyfriend then you have a problem on your hands. "maybe i would if you invited me out with you sometime. it seems like you don't want me around. im not going to invite myself to hang out with you. if i was important to you, you'd want to show me off not shove me into a fucking corner all of the damn time." and with that he moved away, his dark brown eyes darting at the boy out of mere frustration.

sebastian was right. his next response ignited the fire that was this argument that could very well jeopardize their whole relationship. there he stood face to face in a screaming match with the guy who claimed to love him. sure, they had petty fights now and again but nothing quite like this. "what am i fucking supposed to think koda?! you never want me around, you are always fucking gone getting fucked up and shit. how do you expect me to react?" he knew koda wasn't the type of guy to sleep around, but he began to second guess it after piecing the puzzle together. it only made sense in sebastian's eyes and he was not going to keep his mouth shut any longer. he wanted answers and he was finally going to get them, whether this ended happily or not. "am i supposed to believe that koda, huh? we fucked after the club for christs sake. it was so easy for me, so i wouldn't be surprised if you did it to every damn guy." and with that he turned his back on koda, upset at the idea of koda cheating on him. it made sense to him and that was all that it mattered. he was told to follow his instincts and that was just what he was doing.

[KODA SEBASTIAN PIERCE]

koda felt oddly uncomfortable, like he actually committed the crime. he didn't and sebastian kept going on about how koda was a sleazy person, when in reality, he was trying his best. this was the first real relationship koda had ever had with a guy. before sebastian, koda never thought of himself as a relationship-type guy. well hearing all the arguments and facts sebastian had been throwing out, even koda was believing maybe he wasn't ready for a relationship. but he loved sebastian so much, he couldn't say he wasn't ready to be with sebastian. no, he was fully convinced he was ready for one. but the more sebastain egged on, the more koda just wanted to go crawl back into the bed and pretend like sebastain wasn't yelling at him. it didn't help that he still had a beer in his hand. did sebastian actually think that his boyfriend was a class-a hoe? how long had he been thinking this and why is it barely being brought up into conversation? he's not sure why sebastian decided to blow his top tonight. koda was afraid of where this conversation was heading and what sebs had to say.

the more koda opened his mouth, the more sebastian had to rebuttle. the more sebastian had to rebuttle, the more his vicious, heavily-impacted words darted towards koda. koda took a deep breath, as he needed one and kept staring at sebastian and all his rude remarks. he hadn't seen sebastian this mad since, since he had slept with jamie. of course, then he forgave him right after. but by the looks of it, no mercy was going to be given anytime soon. look! i'm sorry, okay? i didn't mean to leave you out, i promise. i just, i don't know. i wasn't thinking. you and i can spend all day tomorrow and then nect, hell we can spend all week together if you want! look just calm down. he pleaded with sebastian, but sebastian was already pissed. koda was sure there was no getting out of this one. koda knew sebastian well enough to know he actually hit a nerve here. he hurt sebastian and he didn't realize it while he was doing it, but now he did. it was completely understandable how sebastian could be so pissed at him.

look i'm sorry! i really amd an i promise you i'll stop it all. i'll spend my time with you.he stepped closer to sebastian. he was desparate for sebastian to at least accept his apology. sebastian meant the world to him and losing him would be the rancid cherry to top of the shit-made cake. his nose sniffled, eyes moist now. he couldn't really handle sebastian's attitude right now. usually he could, but now was just awful timing and he didn't want to listen anymore. but he left very little space in between the two. koda didn't appreciate sebastian basically calling him a whore, but he couldn't do much now. sebastian had clear proof. it was true that it wasn't exactly hard for sebastian to get koda to pull his pants down the first time they met, but didn't sebastian have more faith in him? apparently not. look the last time i hurt you by sleeping with jamie, i apologized and i even promised you i'd never hurt you like that again. don't you have more faith in me than that? how can you call me a slut, anyways? you aren't a fucking saint either, sebastian! you know, what? i don't have to explain that i haven't done anything to you. you should believe me and that should be the final word. i'm going to sleep in the guest room. koda took the beer, titlted it, and swallwed the last of what was in it, waiting for sebastian's response.

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[sebastian james smythe]

the fact that sebastian had so much to say was spectacular. normally rather quiet around koda, sebastian knew he picked the wrong time to pick a fight. he could see the amount of discomfort and uncertainty in coda's crystal blue eyes and knew the boy had felt horrible about the situation. it was a tad pathetic. it was like koda was the dog that was kicked far too many times - unable to defend itself and instead just taking swift kick after swift kick. sebastian looked at the boy, his eyes still filled with anger and he made his way toward the bed, still standing.

the fact that koda was always out drinking irked sebastian. he knew how destructive alcohol could be and with koda he knew it was a problem. of course koda would never admit to having a problem, instead insisting that he was 'just having fun'. it angered sebastian knowing that someone could be so careless and self-destructive. what bothered sebastian even more was the fact that he didn't think that koda appreciated him enough. he never made time to spend with his boyfriend. he knew koda cared - he just had a problem of showing it, at least in sebastian's eyes.

of course sebastian had thought about this moment for a few hours while koda was out. his body shook at the thought of where this conversation was going but there was no turning back. he had to do it. sebastian took a deep breath and looked at koda, his eyes connecting with coda's. he knew his words had struck a nerve with koda, and as bad as he wanted to feel about it. he couldn't.

koda you just don't fucking get it do you?" he snapped, his eyes shifting from his boyfriends, "you have time for everyone except me, and now all of a sudden you want to hang out with me. are you fucking serious?" and it was right. koda had felt more obligated to cope with his problems with his friends as opposed to his boyfriend? how dare him. sebastian had always been there for koda and that was how he repayed him? the audacity the boy had. sebastian couldn't help but shake, his body moving almost uncontrollably as he took in the words the boy said. every sympathetic remark only continued to anger and upset him. part of him wished that koda would just walk away and stop talking.

"i don't want to take you away from your friends. they are obviously more important then i am." he growled. he couldn't stand to look at the boy at this moment. sebastian was hurt and angry at the boy and had every right too. had koda made an effort to show how much he truly cared about sebastian, there wouldn't have been a problem. he just felt invisible in coda's eyes and he was no longer going to allow it. he deserved better. he deserved a boyfriend that was going to act like a boyfriend. all he wanted was someone who appreciated him and kept him involved in their life. was that too much to ask?

"i never said i was a fucking saint koda." he screamed. his hands failing up toward his head out of frustration. "but i tried my best to give you space and a place to stay when your fucking parents kicked you to the curb, right? i tried to help but you don't seem to want it. you act like you are the only fucking person with problems! newsflash koda, get over it. lets get one thing clear. you pushed me away." and with that his eyes shifted to coda's belongings. sebastian took a deep breath and made his way toward his bedroom door. he stared blankly at koda for a moment before opening the door. "i don't think you need the guest room. i think you need to leave."

[sorry again. i tend to say that alot. kinda distracted with some things going on at home.]

[KODA SEBASTIAN PIERCE]

koda couldn't stop the constant heart pounding. it was over, he was losing and he couldn't look back or re-do any of the awful decisions. what had been done, was done. koda was simply to pay his dues. sebastian's points were already made. and koda saw why he was so pissed off at the moment. everything that had been stated was true, but koda did love him. and cared for him a lot. sebastian had given him so many chances already, though. koda's time had run out and he couldn't even defend himself this time. koda just listened helplessly as sebastian continued to rant. sure they arguest from time to time, but this was a whole different type argument, they were giving each other hell, and although koda wasn't sure if sebastian meant to take it this far, they both knew there was no turning back. this night would end horribly or not at all.

if given the chance, koda would redo it all over again. the entire thing. he used to be a transfer and he had a new life. now everything was screwed up. absolutely everything. he couldn't even make sense of how much he had screwed up his life in just less than a year. his parents hated him, he had two hookups with people he didn't know personally, then when he decides to get close to one, they destroy each other because their relationship is dysfunctional in every way possible. but koda still cared for the boy. his hands wiped against his eyes. they grew heavy with moisture, but he didn't let a tear slide down his cheek just yet. he failed to understand how sebastian could be so cruel when koda was at his lowest. didn't he understand what the kid was going through? obviously he didn't, and he didn't seem to understanding nor merciful.

sebastian snapped at him, and koda could feel his sharp, cold words pierce his invulnerable wall. don't you get it at all? i would do a fucking lot for you. and i just wasn't thinking! can't you at least be a bit understanding in my situation? or are you still that conceited, egotistical asshole i met at the club? cause if not, then please prove it. koda rolled his watery eyes, kinda ironic. he wouldn't even take himself seriously at this point. he couldn't really argue against sebastain. he had always had a weak point for the boy ever since he practically poured his heart out to him. koda couldn't piece together how they ended up in this situation, but all that really matter was that they were in it. his tone got serious right away though. look sebastian, they aren't more important than you. just please believe me. i love you and please, i just need one more chance and i promise i'll try harder to pick myself up from the slump i've gotten myself into.

and sebastian brought up the fact that koda was kicked out. and he did bring up yet another good point. everyone had problems, but sebastian just didn't understand. he had never gotten kicked out by his parent for his sexuality.you can't be serious sebastian? you're kicking me out? you can't! i have fucking no where to go! where the hell would i go sebastian? look, maybe you just need the night to rest on it. please, sebastian, didn't mean to hurt you the way i did and everything i did was all for you. you have to understand. i came out to my parents and the whole fucking school by your request! i wasn't even ready! koda was done pleading, he didn't have anything else to say. and if this didn't work, then he had completely lost against sebastian. he wasn't sure how he would be able to recover from this one, but if sebastian forgave him, koda would have to find a way to pick himself up from this depressed state of his.